I’m an expert on yelling inappropriate things… it’s a gift.
Let me show you how this skill can work to your benefit.
Let me forewarn you: the results aren’t immediate.
STEP ONE: Attend your kid’s sporting event.
Instead of bellowing, “Go get ‘em, girls!”
yell something weird, like “You look so cute!!”
The kids may ignore you…
When your goalie is “in the cage,” do not emit a primal scream.
Instead, yell “I love you, pumpkin!” and the ever popular, “Be careful!”
Your kid will pretend that you aren’t even there…
When your kid is under attack, DO NOT scream bloody murder.
Instead, bury your face in a stranger’s coat and wail “Make it STOP!!”
Hopefully, your kid will be too busy to see what you are doing…
After a few minutes of yelling inappropriate things,
you will discover something extraordinary:
You will have LOTS of room to sit in the stands,
because folks don’t like to sit next to weird people.
You’re welcome.
